Do you get lonely, when you travel alone?

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Do you get lonely, when you travel alone? Hmm, yes and no.

For this post, I will be sharing some very intimate details and I’ll be a bit more vulnerable with you because I don’t see many travelers who talk about loneliness.

Studio Museum, Harlem, NY

The loneliness I am referring to is, when you are without companions or family, you’re alone and a bit sad for a period of time.

I have been living in Beijing, China for over three years and counting, and it seems like the more time I spend here the more “alone” I feel in certain situations (i.e. dating life, religion & spirituality, creatively, and intellectually).

Several months ago, I hosted a gay Japanese male, we hit it off, he was talkative and open. I really liked him and so we fostered a friendship. I was his first host during his tour of the world. He left Tokyo for Beijing and after Beijing he went to another city or two in China prior to traveling to Russia, Inner Mongolia, South & Central America.

He is somewhere in Peru as of two days ago lol! He is an inspiring person!

We stayed in contact via Whatsapp, where I would occasionally check up on him and he would do the same.

A few few weeks after I hosted him, he randomly texted me asking me “if I ever feel lonely?” And I replied honestly “yh, but it usually doesn’t last long, are you lonely?” “How’s Russia?”, he then replied that he felt really lonely all of a suddenly because he was around these young Russian couples (his hosts) but that he didn’t have anyone to hug and caress. We texted about this for a few minutes it was intense because I could empathize with him since I usually travel alone.

Changmai, Thailand

I’ve also realized recently, that sometimes while I am traveling and am really content and relaxed, I want to be with my family or a boyfriend ( I am currently single) so yeah lol! Someone to spend those special traveling adventures with as the icing on the cake. I don’t know if its something that’s changing with me because I am becoming older or if it’s something else but either way I am here for it.- Growth!

I continued texting him by trying to find the root causes of why he was having those feelings, and he said it had been some time that he was in a relationship, and that Japanese culture can be very lonely because many people work long hours and don’t prioritize social life, etc.

What do you do when you feel lonely?

He asked me what do I do when I feel lonely? I replied that I would chat with my family and friends on the phone/ video or via text. Other times, I would try to analyze the feelings/emotions and sit within myself to process those feelings despite the temporary discomfort they might stir up– this is one of the only ways to healthy process yourself and enhance your self care journey.

Praying and meditation can also help you process those feelings.

From there the feelings would subside or go away until I am in another situation where it comes up again but as I replied to him “I don’t feel lonely often, but it does come up.” Some of the other times loneliness rears her head I would watch uplifting videos of funny cartoons/anime or I would play video games.

He then expressed that he thought that loneliness was something to feel ashamed of. I explained to him that he is a human and that all of those feelings and emotions come up during certain experiences but that he shouldn’t run away/ ignore them. He should acknowledge them and process them.

If you don’t process those sort of emotions they may manifest in other aspects of your life right away or overtime which might have negative impact on your psychology/your body down the road.

We are all humans, we all have emotions and feelings despite what some people want to believe. Emotions are not a womanly/ girly trait, they’re a human trait lol! Humans are also social creatures. Societies and toxic traditions constantly have tried to divisive and stigmatize these human factoids!

Don’t believe the misinformation or hype!

Take care of your mental health and your physical self! Eat well, take care of yourself and surround yourself around supportive and positive people to combat loneliness.

African American Smithsonian Museum, DC

Comment below, how do you deal with loneliness?

When do you feel lonely?

Positive travel folk!


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